Good times in Tepecoyo

Hello all!


So, Monday was by far the best day in Tepecoyo. Two other praxis groups came for a visit so I was able to introduce them to my host family and show everyone where I pass my time on Mondays and Wednesdays. We walked down to the river and took a nice dip in the cold water. In the afternoon we played soccer in the street and climbed mango trees. To top off my fantastic day I received an awesome letter in the mail.
Last weekend we went on an Ignatian silent retreat at Centro Loyola. It was a beautiful location overlooking the city of San Salvador. It was a much needed time to reflect and look ahead to the future. With everything we are going through here it is sometimes hard to make time for reflection.
The violent reality of El Salvador has recently been rearing its ugly head. The assasinations in Guatemala of the Salvadoran diputados and the murderers subsequent assassinations are prime examples of the corruption present throughout this region. There has also been a lot of gang activity. Even though the war has been over for 15 years there is still a war between gangs. Many of the gang members were deported from the US, and the Salvadoran government is just not able to control the violence and corruption. The other day 8 gang members got on a bus and shot a teenage boy in the back of the head 5 times. They all got away. The boy was part of a community near one of our praxis sites. On monday we saw two gang members walking down the street. You can tell because they had their shirts off and were sporting huge tatoos saying ¨MS.¨ Another girl, the niece of one of our friends here, fell from a tree collecting fruit. She later died of complications from her injury. I don´t share these things to scare people. I am not in danger. I just want to share a piece of the reality here. It´s not all coconuts and beach parties.
Speaking of which, this weekend we are heading to Belize for a jungle adventure and also to renew our visas. It´s only 8-10 hours crammed in the Micro all together. Updates soon to follow. Then, next weekend is the start of spring break. I can´t believe it´s already here. We are planning on heading to Hondurus. Any suggestions or things not to miss?

El Volcán

So this weekend was pretty awesome. First, on Friday, we went to watch El Salvador play Costa Rica. It was my first soccer game outside of the US and it was INSANE. I really could not believe it. Some of our friends got beer and pee sprayed on them because they were Gringos. They were also sitting in the cheap $3 seats whereas I shelled out for the $9 seats...good choice. Second, on Saturday we drove out to the western part of the country to climb the Volcano Izalco. It was very gruelling but worth the view. We hiked all the way to the top and even went down into the crater. Yesterday at praxis we did more house visits but only 4 instead of 9, which is utterly gruelling. Tomorrow we are teaching more English, but I am excited because we had a workshop on Sunday on how to teach English to kids. I´m pumped to try out the new techniques. And we now have a pisara, or whiteboard to write on during class. And we got internet on one of the computers in Tepecoyo. I´m going to make a blog for the kids so stay posted!

Happy Valentine's Day / Dia de Amistad

Some days I love El Salvador.

Some days I hate it.

Most days I just don’t get it.

Today on the way to Tepecoyo we drove past the scene of an accident. At first glance it didn’t appear much different than one in the States. But, what I saw will be forever seared into my memory. First, one woman lay motionless, probably dead, on the group while a couple men stood over her. Then I saw another woman lying on the ground. She rolled over exposing fresh blood dripping from her face. It appeared that both women had been violently thrown from their pickup trucks during morning rushhour traffic. There were no ambulances, only Salvadoran men standing around watching the women doing nothing. Most Salvadorans do not use seat belts and riding in the back of pickups is a common mode of transportation. And, there are laws here that forbid people from moving victims of car accidents until the medics arrive. All day I had these horrific images running through my head and don’t think they will ever leave me. Actually, I hope they don’t. I’m here to understand the reality and this is la realidad.

Someone recently called El Salvador the biggest paradox. They are right. There is so much death and violence here surrounded by utter beauty, grace, and love. There were over 1,000 car accidents in January alone. Private security forces, vigilantes, outnumber the national security forces. I think on average I see about 15-20 shotguns daily. This said, El Salvador continues to surprise me. On the flip side, today was dia de amistad, and in class about 6 kids came up to me and gave the biggest hugs. There is so much beauty here that pops its head amongst the sorrow and poverty.

I’m trying to understand this reality. I’m trying to live the questions. I just wish I could ask the right questions, because the answers are not coming…yet.

el fin de semana

This one is for everyone at Nature Outfitters, and all lovers of Chaco's everywhere. This is what my feet looked like after 6 hours in the jungle.













Don't worry Ma! Me scaling a waterfall with some rope

Well this past weekend could have been the most exciting weekend yet in El Salvador. A group of us went to Juayua for the weekend. When we got there we found a beautiful travelers hotel for $5 a night. We went for a pickup ride to an enchanted night market in an indigenous market. Then on Saturday we hired some guides who took us on a 6 hour jungle hiking up and down waterfalls and mountains. There were amazing swimming holes with tunnels through the hillside which we swam through to other waterfalls. It was seriously like a dream, except for the two police guards posted at the waterfall. They were a friendly reminded to the dangerous reality here. Oh did I mention there is a food festival and open market every weekend too! Shish-ka-bobs, chorizo, and 70 cent beers. Can't beat it.
Praxis in Tepecoyo was really hard on Monday. We made 9 house visits in one day. We were giving survey on community development. It´s been tough getting to know the members of the community because they live so far away (we go everywhere by foot), and the language barrier has been hard too. Some interesting things I learned from the interviews is that the average monthly income for a household of 4-7 is about $90. That's staggering. And interestingly all the families I've met do not have family in the states to send remitences.

The past few days

So the past week has been a whirlwind. This past weekend I spent in Tepecoyo at the house of Angelica. The weekend was full of lots of walking to people´s houses doing home visits. It was a good experience although I rarely understood everything that was said. We leared how to make tortillas and pupusas. On Sunday we went to mass which was quite different than anything we have in the states. We had to stand for almost 2 hours because there weren´t enough seats for everyone. Oh, and after church I learned how to scale and gut fish...I´m turning into quite the salvadoran chef. There were also a ton of super creepy cockroaches in the house I was staying. The poverty is still overwhelming, which is good. When I start to become to numb I think I´ll need to reevaluate something.
On Monday we didn´t go to praxis but had a day off to recoup from the long weekend. In the late afternoon I received an email from two old Cincinnati CISV compañeros, Mark and Jacob. I had kinda forgotten that they were traveling through Central America and they were expected into San Salvador later that afternoon. A few hours later I received a call from Mark who was down at the UCA. So, the two of them came up to Casa Romero and spent the night. Mark came to Tepecoyo with me on Wednesday and the spent the night again. We played lots of guitar, taught everyone Kittos, and had a great time conversing and catching up. It was so good to have someone from home at the Casa-someone that shares a similar context with me and who was willing to jump right into mine here. I think there is another weekend trip in the works for us adventures. so stay tuned!

Sociology Paper

Hey so I thought I would share this paper I wrote for sociology. I think it's pretty good, but who knows. My praxis weekend in Tepecoyo went well although very difficult. I will hopefully write more about it later.
He goes the paper...

What do we really know? This question has been rolling around my head for the past couple weeks as I have been reading through the material from class. It has led me into a reflection on my education, my intellect, and also my experience thus far in El Salvador, especially at my praxis site in Tepecoyo.

When I first arrived in El Salvador I was overwhelmed by the sights and sounds of this place. The beauty of nature juxtaposed to the shocking reality of poverty has astounded me. Naturally, I immediately, subconsciously or not, began to compare my experience here to past experiences from home, school, and my life in general. I began to try to understand El Salvador through the lens of my context. As Bourdieu writes in The Scholastic Point of View, we of the academic world have been given great opportunity and privilege to make these kinds of comparisons and to think about topics of philosophy, religion, or politics. We have been granted the ability to “play seriously” (128). For example, I do not have responsibilities to supply food, shelter, or succor to myself or others. This free time allows me the pursuits of scholarship and travel. I have not only been given this once or twice but it is an ongoing paying of the “admission fee” into further pursuits. This is a privilege that only the smallest majority of the world can manifest, and there are some pertinent dangers which one must protect against, especially in an environment like my own.

When traversing cultural and transnational boundaries it is so important to fare the warnings in Bourdieu’s writings. I have been given amazing opportunities to expand my intellect in countless ways and with that has come a sense of certitude about theories, ideas, and knowledge about myself and the world. With education there comes a presumption that much of what you learn and experience is true. And indeed, much of it is “true.” But in order to more holistically experience the world and education we must from time to time take a step back and think about how we are thinking, what we are thinking, and why we are thinking that. One can make presumptions about what is right and what is wrong, not from a full contextual experience, but from a face value reading on what is perceived from an experience through a personal context. Therefore, before making a presumption it is important to put oneself into the context perceived so that a judgment can be made from within. That said we can not abandon our own context. I will never be able to abandon my experience and education from St. Xavier High School or Loyola University Chicago. But, in order to really enter into a reality I must intentionally lower my intellectual shield. What I have learned and experienced is not wrong, but it is not the whole story. Further, in order to communicate with someone, on the same page, we cannot keep that shield up, because we will never be able to speak the same language.

This has been very relevant at my praxis site in Tepecoyo. I have spent two weeks and a full weekend there, and I still find myself seeing that reality through my North American, white, male, student…etc. context. I have caught myself judging things through my context and dismissing their reality as incorrect, naiveté, or superfluous. For example, sanitary conditions have struck me especially. Practices that I take for granted, like brushing my teeth twice daily, or washing my hands after each bathroom use are not regularly practiced at my praxis site. I think instead of really trying to figure out why they do or do not do things I have blown it off as being gross or out of mere ignorance. However, I am sure they do the things they do for good reason. I have not gotten sick, and they are not dropping dead from pestilence; and, even if it is out of ignorance is it necessarily better or worse?

Another insight I had while reading this chapter was the use of language privilege of education as a form of power. Education is power, not necessarily in the form of domination, but in the sense of societal and cultural power. Over the years of my life doors have been swung open because of my education and my social network. Many people in Tepecoyo do not have the education or the social structures available to do what I have been able to do. This puts me in a unique and intimidating situation. On one hand I hold a certain power of them, but on the other they over me. I come with a topnotch education and cultural power as American. But, I do not know what life is really like in Tepecoyo and I can not really speak the language. No matter how much Spanish I learn I doubt I will ever be able to truly speak the language, on the same field, as them. There are certain cultural contexts which I will not learn in 4 months, or perhaps even 4 years. There will always be a part of my inherent context blocking my comprehension of their reality.

I do not think Bourdieu wants his readers to abandon their own contexts and framework. On the contrary he wants us to be aware and constantly in critical reflection. If not, we run the risk of letting our own context blind us from the current reality. Even if we never truly see that reality we can acknowledge our own limitations and work from there instead of from a place of assumptions and false pretenses. Then by acknowledging these shortcomings perhaps we can compensate for them in order to better grasp and delve into la realidad.

Journal entry and more

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who posts on my blog. It means a lot to me that people back in the states care about me and are interested in what I am doing here. They really give me fuel for the fire.
This weekend we are going to our praxis sites for the entire weekend. I'm kinda nervous, but also really excited. On Saturday we're just going to play lots of futbol and hangout with kids. Two things I can do pretty well, teach English and speak Spanish, that's another story. Below is a journal entry I wrote for a class. I just thought I would share it.
Everyone stay warm and you are missed and loved.

Wow, what an intense few weeks. I have been turned upside down. I have often stopped in the past few weeks to find my body throbbing and my soul crying out at the uncertainty of it all. Before I left the states I felt like I had sufficiently prepared myself for the four month immersion I was to undertake. I had heard the stories, seen the pictures, experienced changed people, but know I know I really had no idea what was coming.

My first day at Tepecoyo was hard. I went alone because Amber was sick. I was immediately placed in front of a class of about 18 students and had to introduce myself. I have a moderate grasp of the Spanish language but I found myself freezing and saying the most elementary sentences. Everyone spoke so quickly and all I could say was “más despacio, por favor.” I left with a headache and physically exhausted by the day’s end. I could not stop thinking that this was going to be the same thing twice a week for the next four months. I almost cried. Two days later Amber joined me, and I still left the day screaming on the inside and with my head throbbing. And I still can not figure this place out. Will I ever?

It was the little stuff that got to me first—how can they go to the bathroom there every single day, or let mangy dogs linger at their feet, or let the flies buzz insensately over everything? The initial shock of the poverty and my inability to understand the context and communicate with my hosts made the first week very unnerving and scary.

The first week has passed, and now the second and I now feel more comfortable with my role at Tepecoyo. I still do not understand everything that is said to me or the complexity of the social, economic, and political structures which have created this poverty. However, I have started to just relax. I needed to get past the initial shock of my surroundings, to realize who I was meeting and to allow relationships to take root. I remember now what Fr. Dan Hartnett said before I left about not going into a community with an agenda, but going in to experience and learn. As much as I tried to do that right away I don’t think I was very successful. All I wanted to do was jump in and start fighting the system. I am smart; I can do so much. Why can I not do something to change this?

The kids to whom we have been teaching English are amazing. I wish more kids in the US would appreciate their education as much as these kids. More like, I wish I appreciated my education as much as these kids. They are so polite and enthused about learning. We have so much fun singing songs and learning new vocabulary. Many of them have much pena but I have found that big smiles and silly faces can break down most barriers and often speak louder than any of my broken Spanish words.

I think more than anything I have been left with more questions than answers. For example, what is the relationship between the community and the police? On Monday we were walking through the community making home visits and there was a police truck sitting on the side of the road. I asked Neilson what he thought about the police, and when I did his voice lowered and said that he did not trust them and that they are mostly all crooks. Another question I have is about public services. I do not understand how they get water or electricity. On Friday we are getting the internet for the computer classroom. This is so exciting but also an utter paradox because they still have an outhouse that would make the average American gag.

The past week I have been thinking a lot about our sociology class and about “language games.” On the one hand I am trying to understand the context and the reality of Tepecoyo and life in the campo, but am I really. We are still talking in different languages. I do not understand the reality after only two weeks, and I do not if I will have after my experience. Can we really ever enter into another’s reality, or are we always stuck playing our own language game? I really want to enter into this new reality but at the same time I cannot escape the context which I am coming, and honestly I would not want to escape it. It is who I am. That’s a scary thought. Maybe I will never be able to escape my context long enough to enter into the context of another. But, are not both contexts ultimately tied up together? Is that not what Solidaridad is all about?

In political science we have been starting to talk about the political structures in Latin America which have perpetuated and exacerbated poverty here. One thing that has struck me is the use of political exclusion to maintain a power structure which fuels poverty. However, in the case of Tepecoyo this political isolation may have been the source of inspiration for productive grassroots organizing and community building. The local community relations here are amazing. There is so much confianza in each other and really good work has been done and continues to evolve to better the life of the community. Perhaps these unjust political structures have in some way direct correlation with the establishment of grassroots community organizing.